Hah! Life thought it could get in my way, which it actually did pretty well for a while, but I have judo-chopped my way back and am ready to slice and dice about my half-finished books. On to the next victim!
Anyone who is undisciplined enough to leave books half finished. Perhaps you were distracted by a growling stomach, lured away by another book, or overcome by such messy housekeeping that you can no longer find that half-finished book anywhere! Join me, Evelyn Fischel, as I make a stab at finishing my books.
Warning Signs That Your Book Will Remain Forever Half Finished:
Forgetting what you just read...hoping it's not senility
Frequent nap-offs while attempting to read
Getting pissed off with the author for wasting your time
Growing fatter from diversionary forays into candy bowl
Library book renewed maximum number of times and still unfinished
Snarling at plot twists
Walter Mitty-type daydreaming while reading
Would rather exercise than finish book
My Books Half Finished But Still Being Read:
The Skull Mantra
The Big Short
The Good Soldiers
Books I Recently Started....And Finished!
Dancer from the Dance
Interpreter of Maladies, again
My Soul To Take
Sh*t My Dad Says
The Candy Bombers
The Sleeping Dragon
What Not To Eat While Reading A Book:
Bing Cherries - I just squirted a library book!
Fondue - Any Type
Hot Fudge Sundae
Sloppy Joe - Don't Be One
Whatever Your Guilty Pleasure Is
Best Positions In Which To Read A Book:
In comfy chair with lap pillow to support weighty tome
In warm bubble bath - NO library books!
On belly at the beach
Posed with neck support at the ready for sudden naps
Propped up with loads of pillows
Reading in bed NOT allowed - Impossible to stay awake!
Sitting sideways on sofa, knees drawn up, tea cup in hand